Scene: Is beginning of Play. Note: Actors playing Alumni are seated among regular audience.
Vice Principle Schlepper takes the stage. She will begin demanding that the music should be turned off. (it shouldn't be) And then after several requests the music should be turned off -then Schlepper will demand quiet from audience.
Babs will make her way to stage -remaining to the side.
SCHLEPPER: (forceful) Quiet please! People! Quiet! Thank you. Good evening and welcome to all the alumni of Haldeman Senior High School.
BUD: (from table) Whoooooo!
SCHLEPPER: (looks up slightly irritated-continues ) It has been fifteen years since most of you have hovered in these hallowed halls of Haldeman.
BUD: Hallelujah!
SCHLEPPER: (looks up again-clears throat-) Having made your way in the world with the education and social skills learned here at Haldeman, it is a joy and sincere sensation to welcome you back.
BUD: Nice to be back Schlepper Baby!!
SCHLEPPER: All right! That's it! Who's the Wisenheimer out there huh?! Who's the kill-joy that keeps interrupting me? You think it's funny?! Do ya? Huh? Being a smart-guy-loud-mouth? Well listen to me smart-guy-loud-mouth-man, if I find out who you are I'll slap a detention on you so fast your head will spin!! (beat -then very sweetly) Anyway, as I was saying, it's a joy and a sincere sensation to have all of you back. Some of you. Now, it is with great pleasure that I introduce the person who organized this assembly..
BABS: (correcting) Reunion!
SCHLEPPER: ..this Reunion. The chairperson of alumni activities and your hostess for this assembly..
BABS: Reunion!
SCHLEPPER: ...right, Reunion.. May I present, Miss
BABS: Mrs.!
SCHLEPPER: Mrs...... Betty...
BABS: Barbara!
SCHLEPPER: ...Barbara... Fleeseman
BABS: Gleeson!
SCHLEPPER: Gleeson!
Alumni table should start applause -BUD should whoop it up and begin yelling: "Hey Babs Baby!" and chant "Go Babs! Go Babs! Go Babs!"
BABS: Thank you...thank you..everybody! And thank you Vice Principle Schlepper for that super introduction! Hi! I'm Barbara Gleeson and..
BUD: Babs!
BABS: ..well, O.K. most of you remember me as Babs, Babs Hartmiester. I was president of the student council and the Glee Club. Gosh, it seems like only yesterday I was leading us all in that wonderful cheer at all our fabulous Pep rallies. Remember? We got spirit! Yes we do! We got spirit! How bout you? O.K. That felt good!
BUD: It was good for me too Babs!
BABS: Umm anyway.. Thank you ever so much for coming this evening. Gee, I see so many familiar faces out there, I see Melvin and Richard and Gabrielle and... (can ad lib select members of audience) and I must say, you all look just the same as I remember! Gosh, isn't it swell to be back in our old school with all our old friends!
BUD: No it's not!!
BABS: And of course who could forget Marty Budinski back there. The "Budman"! Party Hardy Marty! He's such a jokester! Our dear class clown who was always quick with a joke or a ..
SCHLEPPER: I knew that was you Budinski! I recognize your voice! You can't fool me! How would you like detention for three weeks buster?!
BUDINSKI: Oh Sure! Why not?
SCHLEPPER: All right Mr. Smart guy! You can run your kee-ster down to the office right now!
BABS: Uh..Ms. Schlepper?
SCHLEPPER: Front and center little mister!
BUDINSKI: Wow! This is like deja vu all over again!
SCHLEPPER: I can smell a smart-guy-trouble-maker at fifty paces! You may disrupt assemblies at home pal, but not at my school! (takes Bud by the ear and pulls him to front of room )
BUD: Ow! Ow! Ow!
BABS: Ms. Schlepper!!
SCHLEPPER: Let this be a lesson to you young man! I hate to make an example of you but I will if I have to! If you want to be disruptive, I can be disruptive too!
BUD: Well, Ms. Schlepper, I never knew you cared!
SCLEPPER: It's three weeks Budinski! You hear me? Three weeks, just you and me. (releases Bud's ear)
BUDINSKI: My place or yours?
SCHLEPPER: What? Are you smart-mouthing me son?!
BABS: Ms. Schlepper!!
BUD: You know Schlepper, honestly, there is nothing more I'd like, than to be detained by you..
SCHLEPPER: Don't sass me mister!
BABS: Ms. Schlepper! This is not..
SCHLEPPER: (to Babs) Don't you back sass me either little Miss or I'll take disciplinary action on you too!
BUD: Look, Schlepper, babe, I think what Babs is trying to say is... we got a slight problem here.
SCHLEPPER: Problem? My only problem is you Budinski!
BUD: No Schlepper, your problem is.. I'm no longer a student here, ya know, what with it being fifteen years since I "hovered in these hollowed halls" I'm afraid "detention" is a big No Can do! But ya know, maybe we could have lunch next week..