To Wake The Dead Sample

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Scene: First Act -certain guest at the Wake have felt the Presence of the departed
Note: Character of "Fred" is the departed. Other characters cannot see him.

FRED: I had seen the big real estate agent in the sky and put a down payment on the farm. But.. Why am I here? Why isn't there a harp in my hand? (Picks up Harp Lager bottle- looks at it-double take) Oh. But what I really don't.. what I can't remember....

LENNY: (to Deena) Is there something I can help you with?

FRED: Yea, you can help me remember what happened. I don't remember slipping.. Or tripping over anything. Doing a Rob Petrie out the window. I didn't pass out and...

DEENA: I think Clyde is "tele-commuting".

LENNY: I'm sorry? "Telecommuting"?

STEPHANIE: Yea, he does it a lot. Mostly, with people nobody has ever heard of.

DEENA: He did have a conversation with H.P. Lovecraft that one time.

STEPHANIE: Oh yea, that's right.

LENNY: So, wait a minute. You mean to tell me, your friend is having a conversation..

DEENA: Yea, with Mr Finnegan.

STEPHANIE: Clyde has "the gift". I mean, we all do, but Clyde's is like.."super major big time". He can commute and channel..

DEENA: He was on "Mysteries of the Unknown" and the "Jim Leher News Hour".

LENNY: So you mean, your friend there, Clyde..

CLYDE: I hear dead people.

CHIEF: All right, that's it. I can't take this "tomfoolery" anymore. Officer Francis!

RUNYON: Chief Wambaugh, I believe Mrs Finnegan requested you to desist and decease with you're wanting to throw people out. Am I not correct in my assumption?

JOYCE: Yes Danny.

CHIEF: But Joyce! These kids over there are comin' up with some doozies! You ain't buyin into that nonsense and that are you? I'm not. I know most of the people in this room ain't goin for it.

JOYCE: Well, maybe I am chief. And maybe the people in this room tonight are too.

RUNYON: She is correct Chief. I have been known to have an open mind about things of this nature. In fact, the doll I'm with, Miss Peaches Marie Crabtree... (Peaches Stands).. Is a participle in the Sally Struthers correspondence courses in parapsycosis.

PEACHES: Parapsychology.

RUNYON: Correct. Parapsychology.

CHIEF: Oh if that don't beat all!

FRED: Peaches Maire Crabtree? I know that name. I know that... face.

FRANCES: The Peaches Marie? From the midnight shows at Fuzzy's on the east side?

FRED: Oh! That's where I know that... face.

PEACHES: Do I know you?

CHIEF: Do you know her?

FRANCES: Sure. Officer Frances. I worked the vice raid last August. I was the one that told you to "Drop the boa constrictor and back away slowly."

PEACHES: Oh right! Right! How have you been?

FRANCES: Not bad. Not bad at all. I'm looking at a possible promotion next month and..

CHIEF: Officer Frances!

FRANCES: Sorry sir.

RUNYON: Anyway, my point is.. Miss Crabtree has been indicating to me, that she has felt certain.. ana.. anatomical.. what was it doll?

PEACHES: Anomalies.

RUNYON: Right. What she said. In this room.

CHIEF: Huh?

FRANCES: She's feeling anomalies sir.

CHIEF: We can't have that in a public place! Run her in.

FRANCES: It's all right sir.

RUNYON: If I may continue? I only thought I would mention it, since the subject and Freddie have arisen. Would you like to inform them Miss Crabtree about the indications you were indicating to me?

PEACHES: Well, keep in mind, I am not certified in the field. Parapsychology is only a hobby, if you will. It was a side line interest I got while I was doing research for my masters in Sociology. Anyway, I was explaining to Daniel, according to many popular held theories, the introduction of an "invitational article" can facilitate metaphysical results. In essence, the introduction of the 'empty' chair, proposed by Mr. Elmore, was more or less, an "invitation" to the spirit of Mr. Finnegan.

DEENA: She's right! Ghosts won't enter unless you invite them.

STEPHANIE: No Dee, that's vampires. Don't you know your Anne Rice?

DEENA: Oh yea

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